Watching your teen have a panic attack can be terrifying.
Maybe it came out of nowhere: they couldn’t breathe, their heart was pounding, they were shaking or crying and saying things like:
“I’m dying.”
“I can’t breathe.”
“Something’s really wrong.”
You may have even gone to urgent care or the ER, only to be told, “All the tests are normal. It might be anxiety.”
Now you’re left wondering: What do I do if this happens again? How do I help my teen without making it worse?
Let’s walk through a calm, practical guide.
What is a panic attack?
A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear that peaks quickly—usually within minutes.
Common symptoms include:
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Racing or pounding heart
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Feeling like you can’t breathe or are choking
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Chest tightness or pain
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Dizziness or feeling like you might faint
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Sweating, shaking, or tingling in hands/feet
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Feeling detached or “not real”
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A strong fear of dying, having a heart attack, or “going crazy”
Panic attacks feel incredibly real and scary, even when the body is technically safe.
Always rule out medical issues, especially if it’s the first time. Once serious conditions have been ruled out, ongoing panic attacks are typically best addressed with counseling and coping tools.
1. In the moment: how to respond during a teen’s panic attack
Your main job in the moment: be the calm in their storm.
Here’s a simple sequence you can follow.
Step 1: Stay as calm as you can
Your teen’s nervous system is watching yours. If you panic, their fear spikes. If you stay grounded, it gives their body a chance to settle.
You might quietly remind yourself: “This is scary, but not dangerous. Their body is having a false alarm. We can ride this out together.”
Step 2: Use a calm, steady voice
Keep your voice soft and simple.
You can say:
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“You’re not alone. I’m right here.”
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“Your body is having a panic wave. Let’s ride it out together.”
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“This feels like an emergency, but it will pass.”
Avoid:
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“Calm down!”
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“You’re fine, stop it.”
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Long explanations or lectures
They can’t process complex information in that state. Short, reassuring phrases work best.
Step 3: Help them slow their breathing
Rapid, shallow breathing feeds panic. You can model slow breaths:
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Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4
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Hold for a count of 2
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Breathe out gently through your mouth for a count of 6
Invite them, don’t demand: “Can we try one or two slow breaths together? I’ll do it with you.”
If focusing on breath makes them more panicky, switch to grounding instead.
Step 4: Ground them in the present
Use their senses to anchor them back in the moment:
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“Tell me five things you can see right now.”
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“Four things you can touch.”
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“Three things you can hear.”
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“Two things you can smell.”
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“One thing you can taste.”
Or:
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“Can you feel your feet on the floor?”
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“Can you press your hands against your legs and notice that pressure?”
Grounding helps remind their brain: I’m here. I’m safe. This wave will pass.
Step 5: Ride the wave
Most panic attacks peak within 10 minutes, then gradually come down.
You might say: “This wave is strong, but it will not last forever. I’m going to stay with you until it passes.”
Your presence is often more powerful than any specific technique.
2. What to say (and not say) after a panic attack
Afterward, your teen might feel:
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Embarrassed
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Drained
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Confused
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Ashamed
This is a sensitive moment.
Helpful things to say:
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“That was really intense. I’m proud of you for getting through it.”
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“Your body felt like it was in danger, but you made it through the wave.”
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“You’re not crazy. Panic attacks happen to a lot of people.”
Avoid:
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“That was so dramatic.”
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“You scared me to death—don’t ever do that again.”
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“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”
You can be honest that you were scared too, but try not to put the emotional burden on them.
3. When is it time to get professional help?
A single panic attack can happen to anyone. It still might be helpful to talk to a therapist, but it’s especially important to seek help if:
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Panic attacks happen repeatedly
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Your teen starts avoiding places or situations where they’re afraid they might panic (school, stores, sports, social events)
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They’re afraid to be alone or insist you stay with them at all times
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They’re also dealing with depression, self-harm, or other mental health concerns
Panic attacks are treatable. Teens can learn:
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What panic is and why it happens
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How to catch early signs and use tools before it escalates
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How to gradually face situations they’ve been avoiding
4. How counseling helps teens with panic
In therapy at New Growth Counseling Services, we often:
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Normalize and educate: We explain panic as a “false alarm” in the body’s alarm system.
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Teach concrete skills: Breathing, grounding, and thinking tools specifically tailored to your teen.
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Practice in session: So they don’t just hear about skills—they actually experience using them.
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Involve parents (without blame): We help you know how to respond and when to step in, step back, or seek extra help.
We also explore what might be underneath the panic:
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Stress
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Family or school pressures
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Trauma or past scary experiences
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Social anxiety or perfectionism
5. You’re not a bad parent, and your teen is not broken
If your teen is having panic attacks, it doesn’t mean:
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You failed as a parent
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They’re weak
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They’ll always be this way
It means their nervous system is overwhelmed and needs support.
And in North County San Diego, you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
Teen panic support in Carlsbad and North County San Diego
If your family is in Carlsbad, Oceanside, Vista, Encinitas, La Costa, or the surrounding area and your teen is experiencing panic attacks, we’re here to help.
At New Growth Counseling Services, we work with:
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Teens who are anxious, overwhelmed, or panicking
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Parents who feel scared, helpless, or unsure what to do
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Families who want calmer evenings, better communication, and a plan
