The 8 Cs of Self-Energy: A Guide to Inner Healing with IFS Therapy

If you’ve ever wished for an inner anchor—something steady and kind within you during life’s storms—the concept of Self-energy in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy might be exactly what you’ve been looking for. And if you’re skeptical, especially if anxiety or inner pain has felt like something to eliminate rather than understand, you’re not alone. But what if your anxiety isn’t the enemy? What if it’s a messenger—a part of you working hard to protect something vulnerable inside? At the core of IFS is the belief that you are not your anxiety, depression, or shame. You are a Self—calm, compassionate, and capable of healing.

What Is Self-Energy?

Self-energy is the heart of IFS therapy. It’s not a state you have to create—it’s who you are when you’re not overwhelmed by your inner parts. Think of it as your wisest self, your inner leader. When you operate from Self, you bring healing to the parts of you that have been burdened by fear, trauma, or shame.

Self-energy isn’t about perfection or pretending to be calm—it’s about being deeply present, even in the face of pain. It’s the part of you that can sit with grief, witness fear, and still say, “I’m here.” For people who grew up without much inner safety or compassion, discovering Self-energy can feel like meeting someone they’ve always needed. It’s gentle, but powerful—the foundation from which trust and transformation can grow.

The 8 Cs of Self-Energy – A Guide to Inner Healing with IFS Therapy

Psychologist and IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz identifies the qualities of Self as the “8 Cs.” (source) When these are present, you know you are leading from Self:

• Calm: You’re grounded, not reactive.

• Curiosity: You want to understand, not judge.

• Clarity: You see the big picture, not just the fear.

• Compassion: You care for all parts, even the difficult ones.

• Confidence: You feel solid in your ability to handle things.

• Creativity: You’re open to new solutions.

• Courage: You can face discomfort with love.

• Connectedness: You feel a sense of belonging—to yourself and others.

How to Access Your Self-Energy

It can feel impossible at times to find your calm center—especially when panic, anger, or self-loathing take over. But Self-energy is always there, like the sun behind the clouds. Here are a few ways to access it, along with some guidance to help you feel your way into each step:

• Pause and breathe. Give yourself a moment to slow down. Close your eyes if it feels safe, place a hand on your heart or your belly, and feel the breath moving in and out. Notice that you are here, alive, and capable of presence.

• Ask who is speaking. When you hear an intense thought or feel overwhelmed, pause and ask gently, “Which part of me is feeling this way?” Picture that part sitting across from you. What does it look like? How old does it feel?

• Invite Self to lead. Say quietly to yourself, “Can the calm, wise part of me step forward?” Imagine that part taking a seat at the center of your being, gently placing a hand on the shoulder of the struggling part. What changes when you do that?

• Visualize. See your Self as a warm, steady presence—a trusted guide in a storm. Maybe they wear your face, or maybe they look like a calm mentor. Let them radiate calm and love toward the part that needs it most right now.

You can also download our free worksheet for accessing self-energy by clicking here.

If at any point these practices feel overwhelming or too intense, it’s okay to pause. Turning inward can bring up vulnerable emotions and memories, especially if you’re not used to approaching yourself with compassion. You don’t have to do this alone. Working with a trained IFS therapist can provide the safety and support needed to explore your inner world at a pace that feels right for you.

Why Self-Energy Heals

When your parts feel the presence of your Self, they begin to relax. They no longer have to work so hard to protect you. Healing happens when your inner system trusts that someone safe is in charge. That someone is you.

This internal shift can lead to profound changes in how you relate to yourself, your emotions, and the people around you. You’re no longer at war with yourself—you’re finally in relationship with yourself.

Real-Life Transformation: A Client’s Experience

“I never thought I had anything kind inside me,” one client said. “But through IFS, I found this calm voice that wasn’t trying to fix me. It just sat with me. And somehow, that helped more than anything else ever had.”

When this client first came to therapy, she was exhausted. Years of anxiety, shame, and harsh self-judgment had convinced her she was broken. Every day felt like a battle to prove her worth while hiding the fear that she was never enough. The idea that there might be something compassionate inside her—a part that could lead with love rather than fear—felt almost laughable. But her therapist invited her to slow down and notice the parts of her that were working so hard to protect her. One by one, she met the critic, the overachiever, and eventually, the deeply scared part that felt unlovable.

As she spent time with each part, something began to shift. She discovered she could hold these parts with gentleness rather than shame. She didn’t need to banish them—only to listen. With practice, she found her Self-energy: the part of her that could stay steady, calm, and kind, even in the presence of pain. That shift—from relentless striving to internal relationship—became the foundation of her healing. And while the journey was not linear, she now walks with a deep sense of trust in herself and her parts.

This is the power of Self-energy: not to force change, but to offer space for it.

Learn More and Begin the Journey

Disclaimer:

This article is educational and does not replace professional therapy. If you are struggling, contact our team to find support.